Umm ramble much

Wow when depression or the blues hit me, they really hit me.
Trying to stay upbeat and positive is a struggle sometimes.
My brain gets to thinking and usually the outcome is not good.
It is obvious that I have to much time on my hands, when I'm not busy working or interacting with people I can get depression, then again I can get depressed after being around people for a long time. It's so weird, this past summer after camp I seriously went thru a dark time where I stayed in my room and slept and didn't eat much, it took me a good 4 months to recover. What's WRONG WITH ME?

Can we just stop a min and think of how many of my friends or people I know that are dating or getting married, I even had one of my first campers from camp get married last weekend and another of my girls is courting. LIKE SERIOUSLY :-O
I'm happy for them, truly I am, but this is to much, I would love to have what they have, I'm 24 years old and I have never had any guy like me ;( for the longest time I was like that's ok, but deep down it has shot my self confidence lower. (I barely have any to begin with)
I'm always 2nd guessing my self and bringing myself down.
Yes yes yes I know, trust in The Lord and He will bring that person into my life when the right time comes. But it's easier said then done doing the "wait and be patience game"

BUT I have decided I am going to try to be less selfISH and be more selfLESS. I need to be filling up my time serving others and not just during the summer, I've been waiting to do more for others (not in a prideful manner) but I genuinely am happy when others are happy. I absolutely love helping others.


Ok that's all for now.




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